Do Not Read This Blog! I don't know what I am talking about. I went a little James Fry in the begining. I made up some names. I am a writer. Usually I am, here I am not. I haven't found my voice. I don't want to be the struggeling single mother of a special needs child here. I am that every hour of every day and it sucks but I am cool with it. I am not a saint but I am devoted. I fear guilt so much that I do the right thing even when I am exhausted and don't think it will work out well. I am really proud of this because it's a huge effort and it's hurts like a black hole is sucking in my soul. I try and I try to the point of being freaking ridiculous. I pick myself up and charge ahead and use delusion as fuel. I am so convinced the the hard times are ending and I am nearing that light at the end of the tunnel. So many things out side of my control, ifluence my daily life. I don't care about that anymore. Iam not wanting stability and garuntees. I want me to be different. How can I grow and change when my world is so small? My ego is big, my mind is gone, just gone.
I don't want answers, I don't want to ask questions. I want something new, good. I think it's fun. What I want now is fun.