My New Earth work is actually on It's a text messaging book club. In case you came here from the Oprah website and were wondering where it all is. I'll bring my New Earth Work over here because, I guess this is where it's meant to be. Welcome to Jippyjabber! PS I am auntjippy on the Oprah message boards.

Sunday, February 11, 2007

How do I compete with Oprah?

I TIVO Oprah. I admit it. For some reason I feel scared if I watch it live. Like I am not doing anything with my life. TIVO'd Oprah is guilt free for me. Zach's not sleeping and I am on lifeguard duty again. Oprah helps, well usually. I turn it on and I see THE BOY OPRAH COULD NOT FORGET....... and I am heart broken for him too. Four years old sold as a slave scooping out water in a broken boat with nothing but a tee shirt on. We can live in a world where this doesn't happen. I believe this. OMG I have to believe this. How else could I ask for help for a white boy born in America. A white boy in America has just about every opportunity, well, he certainly can knock on any door he wants to. It might take more gusto but any boy in America, can choose his path in life. My mother gave me up so I have a small idea of where that hurts. I have no idea what it would feel like to be sold into slavery at the age of four by my own family. Oh, what to think about these two boys worlds apart? Mark and Zachary.
I know that pain is debilitating. I know that neither Zachary or I can take advantage of being American or offer more than our good thoughts to those fishing children as long as he suffers so much. I suffer with him. I try not too. I promised myself not to suffer so much but to be stronger for him. I want so much for Zachary. Also, I want more for those boys than to just be free from working the fishing boats. The globe is shrinking, they really are our neighbors children. It's true, if some stay at home mom from middle America can save seven of them. They can't be that far away. From his eyes to her heart.

I just wanted to say that I thought about it. How dare I ask people to help. THe MAGIK clinic sees many many kids. Zach's just one of them. I see them in the waiting rooms sometimes. How dare I complain about anything. Pain and seeing it in a child will bring you to your knees. It will hurt you too whether it's in the f eyes of the fishing children or in the bodies of the patients at Children's Hospital. I feel like an African Lion when I ask why do children feel pain? It makes me wild and living in a disapearing world. I'd like to stop all pain. I think pain is not necessary. I hate pain. I think it gets in the way of real healing. Pain causes more pain. I think the less pain in the world, the better.

I want everyone to move up a lot. Take Mark and put him in Zachary's room. Let him be a little boy in the most magical way. He'd have toys and books and a TV that looks like a car and a big bed with pillows a stuffed whale and more cars. He'd play in this room in a way Zachary never has. I want play to happen in his room.

I also took the time to compare Zachary's life to other boys. How sweet he is.... How much more I'd love to give him. How much I'd love to show him. If I could take him more places where would we go? I love to imagine him pain free and happy in places far away. To see his cousins, to beaches, castles, Disneyland, Seaworld, Africa. Yeah, under that pain and disease is a little boy that no doubt pack up his toys and pass them out to orphans in Africa. He'd go to Africa and work a day as a slave in a fishing boat ( if I'd let him ) to help stop the fishing children abuse. To give a boy a chance.

So yeah. I do, I dare ask for help becuase I believe there is enough and I believe that the good done here can lead to many good things. How do I compete with Oprah......uhhhhh I don't. LOL


Caro said...

It takes a lot of courage to ask for help. To swallow one's pride and push down on the feelings you described so well in your entry. Oprah is doing the same thing but on a larger scale. She says we should always start by examining our intentions. I completely get why you feel compelled to act in the name of your son, for your son. I can't for the life of me articulate why because I am referring to things that are invisible, that one can only feel. The video in wich Zach keeps saying : I am o.k. I am 0.k.
That is what I am talking about... His magic is probably making a lot of people delve inward and to me, that is the genesis of true and viable change...

Z's mom aka Jippy said...

Caro, Thank you, I have to love you now. Oh ya see.. Because that magic is real and big and it sustains me.
You've hit on something that I ponder on....are these kids here to be the "genesis of true and viable change?" I mean there are so many children with various issues and in no way able to be raised as part of the herd. Perhaps it shoud be a welcome change?
Ironically because he has such sweet magic, I hurt more when he suffers. I vow not too, I vow to remember his magical self. TMO ( Too much Oprah)

Michele_3 said...

Hi Jippy!
don't feel bad ever asking for help, your doing a great thing for Zachary and many,many kids dignosed daily with the same thing.

I donated today to your charity and put your badge on my site(hopefully linking to you getting many more donations)
You both are in my prayers & I will continue for Zachary's pain to go away!