In response to your questions via email. I wanted to post a little about mitochondrial disease. I am backing up my computer so this is the short and sweet version. In Mitochondrial disease, symtoms generally occur when energy demand ( the body's energy requirement) exceeds energy supply ( the body's ability to supply energy). Symptoms can include leg pain, lethargy, severe headaches, abdominal pain, nausea and vomiting. All of these symptoms may be exacerabated by extreme physical activity, dehydration, or lack of eating. Physical activity is contraindicated in this child. Rather, by following certain precautions, these symptons can be avoided. Eating frequent meals will enhance the body's ability to make or use energy.

I am a JackPot Captian! California Lottery is sending me a free hat and whistle. If you want to be a captian go check it out. Jackpot Captian I have a confession to make. I am not a gambler. I just buy a ticket every now and then. It gives me a sense of future when I am feeling low about now. I usually feel beeter before the drawing and I sometimes don't check my freakin ticket. I don't want to know, if I have a winning ticket in the bottom of last years Kate Spade. ( it was a hand me down.) I am on a mission. I don't want my son to get the blame for my troubles. I am signing up for things and taking care of business. That means believe it or not, checking my Lotto tickets. Luckily for me if you sign up to be a Jackpot captian they send you the winning numbers via email! Awesome! The catch is you need to be captian of a Lotto Pool. So I am starting a pool. I have three sisters and my mom. My auntie always told me, "Never give away your good luck." So my sisters have to win with me. I can't just give them millions of dollars. Now, I just need some LUCKY NUMBERS! My sister Meg, gave me numbers 23 and 4. If you want to join my Lotto pool, here is a way I think we could do it. Leave me a message saying you want to join up. We come up with the numbers and then we all play those numbers at the same time. Everyone buying their own ticket. It has to play like that because what if we won and your dollar was lost in the mail and our millions got tied up in a legal battle? That would suck! We could Play until the end of the year. It's cool with me if you just want to donate your lucky number.

Cry me a fucking river.
I am tired. I am on detox tea. I have to go get healthy food before I give up and eat out of convience. Something from Zach's snack drawer is sounding good and easy. There is no perfect place for my treadmill either. It's still a treadmill no matter where I put it. I think audio books are better than trying to watch a movie. Any I Tunes suggestions for the treadmill?? Help me please, I keep choosing things like the grammer girl poscast. I love her but I don't retain things while on the treadmill. I heard that mysteries keep you moving. Is it ture? What is good to listen too? I have this gorgeous red sweater and I don't want to be mistaken for Santa himself come Christmas. It's 90 degrees out here today. I can't understand the weather. GLobal warming or Indian summer? I know there are pretty trees out east but I am doing all of my Christmas shopping in shorts. So yeah, cry me a fucking river.

PREPARE TO PEE YOURSELF LAUGHING.......A Joke From Meg.

A man and a women are in bed sleeping. When they hear a knock on the door.
Honey, she says, "Go get the door"

Man reluctantly gets out of bed and heads downstairs to the front door. He opens the door to find a stranger outside.

Stranger, " Hey, man, sorry to bother you but do you think you can give me a push?"

Man, "No" Shuts door and heads back to bed.

Woman, "what was it?" Man, " Some guy asking for a push."

Woman, "You mean you didn't help him?"

Man, "No"

Woman, " Remember when we were on the side of the road and those people stopped to help us?" " I don't believe you, go help him!"

Man goes back outside and looks around and yells out into the dark, " Where are you?"

Stranger answers, " Over here on the swings."

It takes Meg to tell the joke to really make you laugh until you pee........she just loves telling a good joke. I did the best I could...... PLEASE LEAVE A JOKE FOR ME IF YOU HAVE ONE!!! Or let me know if you get me via Randomizer.......thanks!

MADONNA REDEEMED....... I watched her interview and she was asked (finally) if she offered to set this man up to be able to take care of baby David on his own. He declined and granted her custody. I just hoped that she had thought to offer to help them stay together. In one of her interviews she described the situation like this: If a girl put up her child for adoption and then gets bombarded by the media. Reporters In her face asking her if she really wanted to give up her baby. I didn't think it could have really been like that exactly. If you put your baby up for adoption in America, It's most likely going to be well cared for, have food, clothing, health care. Having to leave your baby in an orphanage that is overrun and does not have enough food and medicine because of poverty and diseases is really something different. I support her and the dad and of course the baby David. If not for the doctors on the Pain Team at Children's Hospital. I would not have been able to safely keep my son with me.


BOOKS ON MY DESK RIGHT NOW......The Bitter truth!
I am moving my treadmill so it's kind of a big pile right now.

Write The Perfect book Proposal by Jeff Herman and Deborah Levine Herman

Scriabin A Biography by Faubion Bowers

The Letters of Vincent Van Gogh

In Fact The Best Of Creative Nonfiction Edited by Lee Gutkind

The Associated Press Guide to Internet Research and Reporting

Liars, Lovers, and Heroes What the New Brain Science reveals About How we Become Who We Are By Steven R. Quartz, Ph.D & Terrence J. Sejnowski, Ph. D.

Genetics for dummies

Pocket Theasaurus

Macworld Mag

Cliffs Quickreview Writing: Grammar, Usage, and Style

Virgil The Aeneid

Mensa Book of Literary Quizzes by Dr. Abbie F Salny

Charting Presidential Elections by Sylvia De Long

The Bangs Sisters and their Precipitated Spirit Portraits by Irene Swann

The Ode Less Travelled by Stephen Fry

A Beautiful Mind the shooting script by Akiva Goldsman

How to Write a Movie in 21 Days the inner movie method by Viki King

Guerrilla Creativity Make your message irresistible with the Power of Memes by Jay Conrad Levinson

Pocket Dictionary

The Art of Civilized Conversation by Margaret Shepherd with Sharon Hogan

In Woods & Forests Be An Animal detective

A SPECIAL PILE LEFT TO ME FROM GRANDMA WITH HER HANDWRITTEN NOTES STILL IN THEM......

How the Irish Saved Civilization by Thomas Cahill

The New American Bible ( I think the bible used at my brothers funeral)

My Meditation on the Gospel

My Daily Bread

Oh Geeze......there is my cable bill! Sorry, I just can't dig any deeper. I don't want a late fee! : )

Tell me, What books are on your desk right now?

HowManyOfMe.com

There are: 1,314 people with my name in the U.S.A. How many have your name?

Code to BFF ( or Blopomoers) go to http://117hudson.blogspot.com

NaBloPoMo Randomize ME!

If you don't know what I mean ........Go to the NaBloPoMo site http://www.fussy.org If you find me via randomizer please leave a note of it. I am curious.....

I have drama with a couple of Docs at Children's Hosp. I have to go face them tomorrow. I mean today. It's all in my head but that is the worst kind of drama. Well, I did send a couple of emails that I regret. LOL Wish me luck. It would be very bad if I cancel and I have to face them sometime. Z does need a refill. I just wish I hadn't freaked out and told them my life story. I was hoping they would stop being so critical of me. We live through the ugly parts right? I need a good joke to break the ice. Tell me your best save face routine.

To Who or not to Who......That is the question.. I was offered a ticket to the see the Who at the Hollywood Bowl. THIS SUNDAY! I don't think I can go. Or Should I try hard to make it happen? If I don't go, I'll get a phone call and hear Athena via cell phone. I ran away from re-hab once. ( I wasn't supposed to be there.) It was a wild night in Minneapolis and I wound up at some concert. I didn't know who it was. So trying to find out WHO it was......( you've seen that who's on first rountine?) For some reason Athena cheered me up. I was able to return to re-hab and start lieing about my drug use so I could get the privlage of my blow dryer. ( Ok and hot rollers) I had another spontaneous concert experience. It happend when I got on a radio station party buss. I said, I'm a winner. I Wound up in Milwalkee at a James Taylor concert. I had no idea who he was until we got inside. I knew some of the songs. I was underage and almost got busted because I missed a triva question on the party buss. I need to make new memories. I just don't know if I can jump on the party buss anymore.

Alright, here is the trick to eating one piece of candy. You take one small bar of dark chocolate take a nibble and let it melt slowly. Follow it with a small sip of the best single malt scotch . An ounce or two that has been blessed with a few drops of high quality water. Let the flavors rumble around your closed mouth until your nose is hit with vapors and aromas.........then repeat. It's enough, I promise. Sometimes it's cool when you have to play dad as well as mom. That's a Happy Halloween!

Trick or Treat! I have a date with super man tonight. Z is up and imitating Frozone, " Where's my Super suit?" Ha ha this is so much fun. So far I have him feeding the cat. Stocking the fridge with water bottles. He is so willing to cooperate. I suppose it happens a few times a year and this is one of them. If I had a lawn he'd be mowing it. Next up is brushing and flossing. Before the candy you say...........why yes, because we can and because he will. We have those little animal floss picks. We are off to a Halloween Party and then a little Trick or Treating and mostly passing out Candy at cousins house.

I am not going to worry about anything tonight. I am just going to watch the kids have fun. I have already decided that it's a cash only Christmas. Seems like the nanny and Z use the credit cards more than I do. That is why I have them, in case of emergency. LOL Also, I am taking a vacation. Sort of a vacation. My friend, bought a house on the Oregon coast. Or near the cost, I know he has a stream or what I used to call a crick on the property. I am still waiting for the link to Google Earth. I am hoping it's a whale watching situation. Z would love that.! He said I could go up and get some writting done if I wanted. NIce. I have been helping him buy furniture online. He sent me pics of the place and pics of things he's looking at. Isn't the internet cool! I asked him if his girlfriend had really bad taste?? He said, he didn't want her to have it all her way. I can't stop laughing........

Code to BFF....I need a drink!

BLOG LAW........I think I broke it! In order to learn better blog etiquette, I am going to take part in the NaBloPoMo.(www.fussy.org) It's the bloggers answer to NaNoWriMo, National Novel Writing Month. I am trying to participate in both. While I don't think I can write 50,000 words in one month and still take care of Z. I am sure I can blog everyday or respond on a blog everyday in the month of Nov. That is the part I am really worried about. I was the first responder on a blog post. Not a good idea for a newbie. ( I have never freakin used the word newbie before .....LOL) Anyway, If you want to see what I am talking about go to www.robertgregorybrowne.com/wordpress/ AKA Anatomy Of A Book Deal. Nobody complained about me but I felt lame about my comment. Have you ever done that? I think I was supposed to understand that the issue is about unfairness. I know that now. I just live with unfairness. I can't get medical insurance for my special needs child. It's unfair. I want everyone to think I am a nice girl who is content to say, yeah that's unfair. dear God if I could only be her. I could probably be married and have more kids if I was her. The thing is .......just saying it's unfair won't help my son nor will it help the situation Rob was posting about. Now, I don't need to help that guy but I do need to do something for Z. I don't know what I am going to do. I do know that I am a realist. I have no choice. I was just trying to say that life is how it is and we are humans and no matter how open minded we are the machine of politics is aggressive and unfortuneately it works. America is one big Jury pool when it comes to politics. If you show them something negative as evidence even if the judge strikes it from the record or we know in our hearts that what a fiction writer wrote should not be held against him....it's never really gone from our subconscious mind. Especially if it's of a sensative or sexual nature. Maybe I am forgiven, maybe I have to find a new place to play. Meanwhile, I am getting ready to write a novel in one month. I will take what I get out of trying to achieve that goal. I have other writing goals and I do well with competing projects. www.nanowrimo.org. The point is.........one day, I might wake up and really know how things work. Public Relations, Fundraising, Politics, Blogging....... Then I can use them to create the ability to provide a better life for my son now and after I am gone. But yeah....it's not fair......I know and it used to stop me from playing..........not any more... wish me luck.

Nurse Jippy takes the night shift. I took Z to Childrens Hosp for a three day extended EEG study. I am in love with this little girl who was knee high pushing her IV poll up and down the hallway looking in the doors like she was window shopping at the mall! I don't know how many bags she had hanging from the IV poll but she didn't care. It was hilarious, she was so cute you couldn't be sad for her. They told me I had to stay up all night and push a button when there was a patient event. I was watching my son's brain waves on a computer monitor for the past three days. I filmed some of it for my documentary. It looks cool. I won't get the results back until Dec. From what I saw he has small seizures that wake him up within the first hour of sleep. I passed out a few times but other wise I played a good nurse. I woke up to a doc who wasn't so subtle about having me make an appointment. He gave me the number and said, "call now." So, guess what? I called and I'll be back at the hosp. next week to see two of my favorite docs. don't get me wrong, I owe this team of docs. I am trying to consolidate all Z's appoinments and get him school so I can get some work. I am there for his medical care but I have other obligations too. As I am playing nurse into the night I am thinking about playing Santa. The list gets longer and longer the closer and closer we get to the holidays. Recently, I was told that I really don't understand the pressures from providing for a family because I have the advantage of "maternal instinct." This got me mad. I make hard choices that reqire sacrifices and effort.
They call me a saint and dismiss me because I have a maternal instinct and I am nice. I am a bitch too. I have been trying to complain a little more lately. I am not sure if it's the way to go. I am not a saint for sure. I did feel like being Mother Teresa in the halls of Childrens Hosp. There are kids there and the parents can't be there with them. You can figure out quickly which ones they are. The ones trucking themselves up and down the hallways and know all the staff by name. Somehow I managed to have a little toy as they'd pass by. Then we got a roomate and the mom that came with that boy......she really is a saint. This baby was living off of her soul. Her husband was a man who loved them both and it showed. Both of them giving 100 % and it isn't going to save this baby. I don't know much Spanish but I heard ( in think) that he liked toys with lights. I had a pen that had spinning lights on the top. I dragged it out to help the baby calm down until someone arrived with his favorite toy. The dad looked at me and I saw the thing, the thing that I have, that his wife has, it's not maternal instinct. It's not saint hood either. You care about the little things. It keeps you in the moment. I think because we know we are powerless over the big things and over the future. I live on blind faith. I have to believe that if I play a good nurse right now that I'll get a shot at Santa. Can I play all the roles in Z's life? Time will tell. I'd have to say, I play an awesome Nurse Jippy.

Code to BFF Children's three day stay .......just found out....

I really don't care about Brit or Madonna but they crossed my path today. Ok, it goes like this......I took Z to school and he didnt' stay so we had to find something to do with our day. I figured I'd let him pick out stuff for his lunch box to increase the chances of him staying at school tomorrow ( he's currently eating those choice snacks right now.) A big sign outside, Flu Shot. Nice, it's on my list and if I do it today the money goes to breat cancer research. I don't want to get a shot at all and I don't need the flu shot but My son needs me to have it. I have to frame it like that or else I'll hit the floor from needle phobia. To distract myself.......trashy magazines..... Brit lost 26 pounds in one month without the pills or the trainer. I mean she had a trainer before so escentially she's been trained. Right? So, no nutritionist this time either. Like she would have forgotten how to make a turkey and swiss rollup? Anyways, Hurray for her! Her butt is shrinking and she isn't worried about her man out there on the loose anymore. I mean, who would worry he had two kids with the women he left to become Mr. Brittany. Oh yeah, she might be careful not to loose all of that ass......the other chick had booty. As long as I am reading about what she is eating.....I think she's in the clear. Ya know?? There are many levels of love and we have the right to explore them.......... Now, I move on to Madonna. I already know what I think about this. I wonder why would someone adopt a baby that has a father? Maybe it was the only way? I wonder why she didn't set the man up to care for his son. Why not adopt a true orphan? A baby with no mother or father at all. I mean there are plenty. Right? I am glad she is bringing attention to kids that need adopting. I hope good people adopt orphans. I hope we support people to keep families together. He suffered and he'd have advantages being raised by Madonna. I am in favor of her adopting, giving the country millions of dollars puts in in my face and forfeits privacy. I have an opinion. I don't want to take on Madonna but why David? Did she rename him David or is that his birth name? Maybe I'll think about that when I make my turkey and swiss roll up tonight.....LOL

Do Not Read This Blog! I don't know what I am talking about. I went a little James Fry in the begining. I made up some names. I am a writer. Usually I am, here I am not. I haven't found my voice. I don't want to be the struggeling single mother of a special needs child here. I am that every hour of every day and it sucks but I am cool with it. I am not a saint but I am devoted. I fear guilt so much that I do the right thing even when I am exhausted and don't think it will work out well. I am really proud of this because it's a huge effort and it's hurts like a black hole is sucking in my soul. I try and I try to the point of being freaking ridiculous. I pick myself up and charge ahead and use delusion as fuel. I am so convinced the the hard times are ending and I am nearing that light at the end of the tunnel. So many things out side of my control, ifluence my daily life. I don't care about that anymore. Iam not wanting stability and garuntees. I want me to be different. How can I grow and change when my world is so small? My ego is big, my mind is gone, just gone.
I don't want answers, I don't want to ask questions. I want something new, good. I think it's fun. What I want now is fun.

I can't sleep. I randomly crossed paths with three people from my past in the last 24 hours. What does this mean? Two men. One in a store, another at a gas station, seems so random. I should have tried harder with either one of them or maybe I should never let them into my life at all. You know I am so hard to get. The Holidays are coming and, " you should have married that young doctor. " That is what I am going to hear. Wouldn't it be great if I could say, I don't have a doctor but I have my script. Wouldn 't it be great if they understood that it's really apples and oranges. I want people to look at me and see that my son did not stop my life. If I was stupid they may not care. It's some idea of potential that bothers them so much. My potential career, my potential family life. You know a personal trainer and a dating service, they are all willing to pay! I bet I get it in my stocking this year! lol. I 'll take it. Can't I have it all? Just little slices of life here and there is good.
Now my guy is awake and I leave you with a mystery of the third person from my past. Have you ever had a day like that?

Code to BFF- Guess who I saw at Best Buy Last night!!! Trying to put his movie up front and buying a copy so they keep it stocked. OMG call me!

Children's Hosp. today. I hope it's not all day. I am getting some writing done early. So if I comment on a blog they automatically get my blog address.......Good to know. I could talk in code......strickly lines from movies. I need to go to Disney and play the trivia game before my son gives up on those movies altogether. I got a call from my brother once...... he was in a bar and I helped him win something..... just what he needed free beer! I need beer, one more summer day with beer. It's easier to write in the winter. I am gearing up for it. I am getting my heater cleaned and checked for Carbon monoxide leaks. Stock up on tea and soup.... maybe some hot cocoa. Ok I feel like writing more already. I finsihed a project in Seattle in one season. I want to be done by the end of the year. Merry Christmas please ready my script. I am new to blogging. I joined a writing message board and some people were really rude and negative. I mean nay sayers big time just stomped on people. I think bloggers are better! That's it from Jip!