The Princess Bride

I am starting a new thing YOU TUBE SATURDAY! I give you ode to Max and Valliant........ : )

INTRODUCING ROBOT ZACHARY



Sometimes I am like a lifegaurd and I sit and I sit and the kid feels calm and he falls asleep but if I move or think about moving or breathe deeply as if I am sleeping he jolts up in a panic.

Zach s calm now. Who wouldn't be calm holding your mother hostage and making her stand gaurd duty against god knows what evil paranoia that lurks in your head. There is no warning when life gaurd or I guess, sleep gaurd duty calls.

To help put him to sleep. I pretended to be robot mommy and tickle him. He used to get violent when I tried to play with him, YOU ARE NOT ROBOT MOMMY, YOU ARE MY MOTHER! He did say that today just through the laughter. Over the years I have learned how to quit just before it's too much for him. I hear his laughter so rarely.

Then I noticed his arms moving weird and I thought something was wrong. Dear god what happened? He's rigid and wow they were moving like a robot! and quietly like a mouse I heard. I am robot zachary.... Oh how I wanted to make a big deal out of this! This is a beautiful moment when you just want to let the tears burts out becasue the heavans parted and the love is shining down on you. Your kid just played with you in this way for the first time and he's thirteen years old.

( So excuse me if I let the tears out now. ( My beautiful robot how I'd love to play with you some more. )

I said, Oh you tickle mommy, let me see how to shut off Robot Zachary and I reached back behind his neck and pretended to turn off Robot zachary. You are not robot zachary, you are just my Zachary. He snuggled in close to me and I held him like he was five. Because his mind is five.

When Zachary does something new you have to keep a limit on it. Its as if he really formed a new neuro pathway for this and it should be treated like a raw exposed nerve. If I want him to be able to play the loud ROBOT ZACHARY I have to keep the new quiet robot zachary protected and gently let this pathway build up strength.

This is the best thing I have ever figured out about how his brain works.

STILL AWAKE


My neighbor just left for work, 5 am. My son is wide awake. His breathing is a little stressed so I have to remind him to "BREATHE" His body wants to be asleep. Every part of him is tired. But he is STILL AWAKE. I gave him a bath. I put on cozy PJ's well his best sleeping shirt and his favorite boxers. I am trying every trick in the book. This has been happening for days ok the past couple of weeks. His nanny came today. I was hanging on until she got here. I saw her breifly on Monday, I was a real grouch to her. I told her I wasn't living my life according to her idiosyncrasies. She just keeps coming up with more of them. She couldn't stay long enough for me to sleep, because she has a morning and evening class on Mondays. Today, I let her in, told I was sorry for being such a bitch the other day then laid down on my bed, she walked in Zach's room came back and I was out cold.

She cleaned my fucking kitchen. I swear the nicer I am to her the more spoiled she gets and when I am grouchy she's doing me favors and she actually stopped Zach several times from waking me and then agreed to take him for a walk. They went to the Corner Bakery which is literally just around the corner. He ate four pieces of bread, not the best choice for a boy with autism. So no pizza for him this week. Then he dragged her to the bookstore. NO WHEEL CHAIR!

I woke up, got in the car drove to the bookstore parking lot, called her and she said, I don't think we can make it home we went all the way to the bookstore. Oh mamma knows, mamma knows.

So bring it on Zachary! I am all recharged...........

Thinking Blogger Award
Originally uploaded by jippyjabber.

The participation rules are simple:

1. If, and only if, you get tagged,She tagged me write a post with links to 5 blogs that make you think,
2. Link to this post so that people can easily find the exact origin of the meme, Home of the Thinking Blog Award
3. Optional: Proudly display the 'Thinking Blogger Award' with a link to the post that you wrote (here is an alternative silver version if gold doesn't fit your blog).

That was that! Please, remember to tag blogs with real merits, i.e. relative content, and above all - blogs that really get you thinking!

I have been working on a best of my blog roll post. I thought i would link to my favorite post of all my favorite blogs. This is harder than I thought it would be but it does make this a little easier to do. I can't Tag Back, so A Family Story makes the editing floor by default. NObody should get mad at me because, I didn't tag my BFF or The Nicest Blogger. The Show Must Go On. First thing that comes to mind is her empathy and compassion. She is a living breathing human being and she feels life. I love that she fights for the fun and the interesting. She's a firecracker, up on politics, hip with rock music and her soul lusts for europe. Mostly, France and she easts chocolate in her sleep! I love how she loves people. Her post on her son's wedding night OMG it's great. The great coke blak experiment is a favorite. You can't go wrong on her blog. Yeah, there is just enough strange and unusal there ( Sleep Walk Freak) to keep you wondering what is next with this chick. Go to her blog she'll make you happy. ....

YOU ARE NOW TAGGED!

1)Celluloid Blonde Ok ,she is precision thinking at it's best. She is sharp as they come and not only requires that you think but you do it fast. She's got integrity And she has edge. She makes you think and think up. Reading her triggers both sides of your brain into action, it's almost subliminal, it's fun and a little like getting on that big ride you swore you never would at the amusment park. But you trust her and when you land safely.....you are like, damn! I wanna walk home from school with that girl.

2)Moving J- Wards What can I say, she has the soul of mother earth. She is an artist and she has a keen vision. She is a very conscious person. Her comments are always spot on, she understnads what I am saying better than I do. She is the one to watch. Her blog is a memeber of Kind Blog. She plays the viola and she makes me dream as much as she makes me think.

3)Pooks I have referred to her as the green goddess. She has me thinking and taking action! Buying green light bulbs and supporting local retailers. I hope this earns my forgiveness for laughing at her for beinng a football fan. Can you imagine she has me thinking about, Politics, Football, Global Energy and damn if she didn't inspire me to cook twice! Nachos once and once just to show off my plates. She is a bit of a mystery too, and that always keeps my attention.

4) Anatomy of a book deal He always asks questions on his blog. He really makes you think. He is very open with his own inner journey as a novelist. I named him as my blog crush. I am pathetic if I go on about him here. .......He is awesome, intelligent, nice to everyone, funny, try his audio files...... ok, I am stopping.

5)Wog Girl Meets World This blog is a great read. She is Bosnian living in Australia, merging two cultures and two generations with a war in the mix of it all. She is about to get her novel publish and she has several short stories linked for you to read. When you read her blog, there is no bullshit there, this is how it is right now, this what I am doing about it, and it kind of centers you on your own truth.

Thinking Blogger Award
Originally uploaded by jippyjabber.

WOW! Amy atA FAMILY STORY
Has TAGGED Jippyjabber with a THINKING BLOGGER AWARD
Down right irony at it's finest!
today I say THANK YOU AMY! tomorrow I pass it on....

BRETT BATTLES IS HAVING A CONTEST!

It's totally rigged and if he pulls my name out of a hat he'll put it back in.......... Just kidding!

IT'S EASY TO ENTER

Just reccommend your favorite book and link to the author if you want. That is it and you could win a signed pre-released copy of his book.

THE CLEANER

Some interesting books have already been listed by the entrants. If you have a favorite book then you've got what it takes to play. I think the list is worth checking out even if you don't want to enter.

Time to Win Again!

You'll see that I entered My Blog Crush Robert Gregory Browne's Kiss Her Goodbye. Don't get me wrong Brett is right up there in the blog crush category. He is the a perfect man. This is how it works. You read an awesome book and you go, who fucking wrote this? I have to meet this guy.........These are those guys.... : )

American Idol

Buns and chou chou are the best and they do American Idol in this one!

FIRST TIME DRIVING-

Mom, "The school called, You've been late to school too many times."

Me, "Graham's buss has been late, I put him on the buss and run to school."

Mom, "Take the car."

Me, "I'll get in trouble if they see me driving. You can't drive when you are ten."

Mom, " Park down the street."


I remembered this crazy conversation with my mother after reading Dudes Where's My Car? And comments over at The Show Must Go On.

Babysitter nightmare

It is a babysitter nightmare, also a lesson to be learned. IF you leave your kids with a babysitter and you have a hot car in the garage, Don't leave the keys laying around!

Give it a click and you'll get a good read

CHASING STRAYS

I had this flash back of cat food samples that I gave to a neighbor, to give to the stray, that lives by my parking space which is actually closer to her apartment. Ever since this girl moved in she has taken over the feeding of our stray. She wasn't home today so I left her a note and hid in my car for this bad ass cat. I have karma with this cat.

It's a true cat burgler. I fed this lost cat once, because it was lost and hungry and not a real ferral cat. Our stray was so mad that it came into my apartment ( while I was gone) tried to get Zach's Joe fish. A gold fish the size of a slice of bread.

There was a lid on the tank so the cat decided to pee on my fish tank stand. Then the cat jumps up on my table and takes my beta fish. I know this because eventially I found the partcially eaten fish near my front door.

This was one mad cat. Cut to the chase and I mean literally. Today, I chased the stray ( I didn't get too far he knows some tricks) to look for signs of kidney failure. The only sign I have is that he actually came out in the light of day. Why?

I guess I can call the humane society and see if they will check on him. Or is he a goner if I make this call? I would miss our cat burgler. But the numbers ( don't picture a number, picture that many animals in a big gymnasiam) of beloved family pets lost are just heart wrenching.

For the real scoup on this, and for all things smart and fabulous, check out Max, at Celluloid Blonde update ii : emergency pet food recall

Today, I paid full price $24.00 for the Happy Feet video from a small video store. I told the guy that I could have bought the video at Wal Mart for $15.87. He said, I would be supporting poverty. Instead of creating my own ? I smiled at him.
He said, well, they use welfare for their health care. I said, Do you have health care working here? NO, but we get paid better working here. I just kind of laughed. I said, I know I am doing the right thing buying the video here.

Pooks will tell you why. She was the inspiration for my green light bulbs on St. Patricks Day idea. We have to walk the talk people. She really does it. A green goddess

79aa_poster_domestic
Originally uploaded by jippyjabber.

DID I SAY I WANTED TO WORK ON MY SCRIPT?

It's a set up I am sure.
I am waiting for a surgery date for Zachary. Any day I'll get a call and they'll say no food at midnight and we will see how it goes if he has to stay in the hospital or if he can go home but he will get have to recover and he's getting worse waiting for the surgery.

I know it's a tooth that needs to come out. It sounds like nothing but he's got a pain disorder and anthing internal is amplified. He's growing too and it takes all the energy out of his cells.

How can I break this cycle? I don't know if I should write anything but when I almost won the big lottery. I felt my writing dreams step in and say no way man it doesn' t happen like that. LOL

Mean while the tutorials for Final cut Pro are easier for me to do right now. I think I want to take a class. I just really want to get out of here for a few hours a month. Then I might have clarity or just more enthusiasm.

I can't think when our sleep is so off. And it's usually off. You know I pay for sleep. I do, I pay the nanny to stay with zach and I sleep even if the rat falls asleep when I am sleeping I pay her to stay with two sleeping people here. Because I can't really sleep listening out for him So if I pay to sleep why wouldn't I pay to write. I should just include it on her schedule.

Having dreams even if you don't believe in them ( trust me ) it's important.

Premonition

A Day with the Ex's Ex.

I got a call from a friend.
She was almost Zachary's step mother. She was acting step mother for quite a while.
She never married Zach's father. I used to get blamed for that because I would not sign off on the back child support his dad owed and she didn't want to marry into that debt. I simply said, it's not my money to sign off on, it's Zachary's. OH, how I was the devil back then. Now, she thanks me...

She calls and says do you want to see Premonition? I said, I can't remember the last time I saw a grown up movie in the theatre. When and where? So here is the clever thing. I happen to be having lunch in a place that has an adjoining parking lot of this obscure theratre that happened to be playing movies early enough to accommodate my nanny's schedule. We finished lunch just in time for me to meet her at the movie. Cool.

( skip this if you want it's my review of how I felt watching the movie OR KEEP IN MIND I HAVE ISSUES INCLUDING WITH THE PERSON SITTING NEXT TO ME WHILE WATCHING)

So this movie has you holding on. You are waiting and you are holding the puzzle pieces wondering where they will fit in and you are wanting to have a clue as to how they fit and you are hoping to god you can focus and remember how these sort out and then you think it's stretching my brain too much and you wonder hey maybe I am not supposed to hold on. Maybe let go and take the ride. Soon you hope that is the case because there are pieces you can't remember.
Then a character shows up and spits out some clue or glue to these pieces. It really pisses you off because you just let go of the pieces, in trust and hope of the picture being shown to you. Then you notice that this character, is what they call.....I guess..... exposition ( a talking head) and it's really bad. Especially, if you have ever met a person of this vocation. You will know that the writer probably never has.
So you love this movie and then you surrender to it and then you are mad as hell that you did. ...... but wait...............there is a chance to see greatness in this movie .....it would be so awesome and you would forget any frustration before it...... so you hold on again and you start to admire the rythm and it's exciting and then another fuckr who does not belong in this movie shows up and tells you something completely irrevalant and it's like a neon sign telling you some bullshit that makes you think out his storyline and he doesn't have one! You never see him again. Mother of God!
In the end you just don't care enough to be appeased by the parting shot.



MIGHT BE SPOILER
Then the woman who ran off with my husband who happens to be my friend now because life is strange says, to me, I don't understand the scene when the girl is waiting for the married man.............blah blah blah....... who waits for that? How come they didn't already do it by then? I looked her in the eye and thought.....some people never learn! I nearly wet myself laughing so hard.

Good News!
I saw some similar scenes that I have in my script and they look cool on screen. I was inspired to dust off my script. I mean what are the odds of me getting to see a movie? A movie that gives me a green light in an area that had me ummmmmm scared to write.


Zach Missed Me
I have spent the rest of the day and night making up my absence to Zachary. I used this to my advantage. I convinced him he needs to stop buying toys until we get a new toy shelf. I was so thrilled with myself with this idea. kids can be suckers.

white
Originally uploaded by jippyjabber.

Pink
Originally uploaded by jippyjabber.

Purple
Originally uploaded by jippyjabber.

I was inspired by Pooks. You should check out the comments. I think I should paint my kitchen blue. It's a cherry Yellow right now. When I was married we had black and white fiesta plates and now I have Pink, Purple and white. Which one makes you want to eat ?

Notice I said eat....and not referring to the food I have on the plate. That chicken is orange because I forgot about it and it was starting to burn so I put some water in there and it turned everything orange. So not even the cat wanted it until I rinsed it off and cut off the outside. LOL But my plates are cute.

Pooks Blue Plate Special

Max Saved Our Cat! Max is a genius!


The post emergency pet food recall is a true public service. You Have to go to her Blog to get the 411 on Contaminated Pet Food. If you have a pets you need to read the list. I tell you it isn't the cheap drug store brands. It's 30 plus "reputable" brands.

Read the comments and you will find out that there is more to know about feeding animals. A touching fact about getting three years more with her lovely dog Dolph taking him off crap food and giving him raw food.


emergency pet food recall

She is smart and she tells it like it is......"Take the food back to the store, Jennifer. It is a recall item." ( sarcasim? attitude? It must get tiring pointing out the obvious Ms. Adams. )

Alright, alright, I guess I should take back the nasty cat food and that bra that I can't wear because they left a big plastic anti theft thingy on it. Who steals bras?

I hate to take things back to the store, I always spend more than what I would be getting back.

Money is not my motivation on this one though. Max gave excellent advise even though she can be wonderfully sarcastic........ because I worried about the stray animals that would get into the dumpster if I threw out the contaiminated food. If you have some of the nasty stuff then return it becuase eventually some poor animal is going to wind up eating it if you don't. I don't know about you but I don't even need the karma of killing off a junk yard Rat.

Free Mrs. Kennedy
Originally uploaded by jippyjabber.

Honk if you want to Free Mrs. Kennedy!

Free Mrs. Kennedy!

A Hero! I might have to move to New York.

Jameson's Irish Whiskey
Originally uploaded by misterbisson.

I like this Irish whiskey.

So in honor of St. Patricks day, I bought "green" light bulbs for all of my lamps. That is just how my brain works.

What's up doc.

It went well with the doctors. More apointments for Zachary. Turns out we will go in for IV more often instead of staying on the verge for so long.

There is a new rehab doctor that can help us with Zachary's foot drop. I look forward to that.

Also, a dental surgery is in the works. I don't look forward to that.

Zachary was a trooper and he got four race cars in the gift shop.

It's a hospital day. All routine so it should go well.

This is a portion of my email I sent to two family members. My mother is one of them. As far as I know she dosn't know about this blog. I have changed the names, except Zacharys. I just can't play this game for the next nine months. I want to feel safe at Christmas and happy.

I said that I hate Jesus at the end of the letter. Actually, The Nine Faces of Christ is one of my favorite books.

I have tried nicer, ways of drawing boundries over the years and I am exhausted from it. It's only March and I could not see myself shutting down for the rest of the year becase of this. So here I am spelling out the hard truth, the bottom line.

I hope I find something wonderful to do at Christmas for Zach.......... You are about to find out why.............

I have no intention of going to Florida or Orange County for Christmas.

I HAVE NO INTENTION OF GOING TO FLORIDA OR ORANGE COUNTY EVER FOR ANY REASON. I HAVE BEEN THERE AND I AM NOT COMING BACK. Stop thinking that I will try to come. I won't try to come.



I am not going to Orange County. The older zachary gets the less patients I have to be around ( your husband) and act like I don't hate what happened to my life because of him. I can't come down there and act like I don't resent my mother for chooseing a man over me and to see how you aren't really living happily ever after, or to see that you are...... I am using all of my patients for my son. If you want to come up here and have a Christmas with Zachary great. I won't be angry with you if you don't. I am not coming to Orange County. I do not want to be there. I do not want Zachary to be lied to. iF anything ever happened to me, Zachary would go to his father. I would never want you to take Zachary. I could never trust you completely with him. Because of you I can barely trust anyone anyways, Stop acting like it would be normal for me to try to come spend a weekend there. It's not normal and it takes to much fucking energy for me to be there killing apart of myself to make everyone believe a that it's all ok. This is what happens when the children of abused children get to be the age that their parents suffered most. I look at zachary and ( his girl cousin of the similar age) and I think how the fuck could she have made the choices she made? Now you have to live with them. I suggest you get some help with that.

I love you and I am sorry if you don't feel that right now. I do really love you. I, like you, have little to operate on here and you can't push me right now. Everyone is tired and has it hard. Most of all it's Zachary who has it the hardest. I am not taking Zachary to see you just to make you feel better. He suffers so much fucking pain. I will pursue things that I think will bring him the most joy if he is ever able to go anywhere.

Christmas is just another reason to hate Jesus. I am not celebrating Christmas. We will have Santa Day. We believe in Santa Day.
I hope this will be the end of any talk about travel and Christmas.

Jennifer

I live in the f*cking now.

Finally, I can breathe. I thought I would never breathe until Zachary was better. Then I thought Fuck I am dying here. I am no good for either of us this way. You know Turning blue with no fear of dying. Surprised when I was still waking up everyday. Oh I wasn't sleeping much either but what I meant was that I was still here. I did not want to be here with his pain. I still can't take it when it just won't go away. He suffers and suffers and suffers. I just breathe through it. I am ok with pain and suffering when I can still laugh on those days. That's the day I claim to have balance. I think to myself, I won, I can laugh on days of torture and confusion. But there are days, when no one could laugh and it's a bloody mess, I am so scared and I think the world is just cruel. His body is a prison and he tears it apart to get out. I can feel his pain running through my own nerves. I don't want to feel anything at all. It's hard to breathe on those days. I would run away in my mind. That won't do for the long haul. I can visualize to almost tangible details. It creates resentments when you return to reality. It gives an illusion of a choice you don't really have. It's ok for moments but it won't get you through it all. I had to learn to stay. Just like a good dog, a loyal servant. I just stayed, and learned this is no time to fight . I am not a warrior here, I have no weapons. I must stay with compassion in mind. I had a judgemental mind. It was my biggest challenge to redifine compassion. I thought I was such a good person and little did I know what truths I would learn. Now, I have seen my ego stand down. In a new way, I have been so good for so long and Zachary has never been bad. Promises, promises. Do you think I am motivated to do this because I believe will be rewarded one day? No thanks! There is not a big enough carrot. I just can't imagine a heaven so sweet and wonderful worth his pain. I have begged and pleaded to change the deal if there is one. I believe that being with him is the gift. If you are willing to take the adventure. To walk the gauntlet and learn how to slay a dragon. Learning how he still loves life. I never loved life that much. I am just starting to now. Starting with loving to breathe, a really deep good breath. I think of when I was at the beach and in the woods, I was a child just being. I would have never been able to live with all of this pain. Learning to watch him with respect and awe. Learning how to fail him while still loving him. Seeing his soul, he's a person. Desperate to find, what it took for my love to find it's way from my heart to his. I had to learn to breathe and be present to be stable for him in the midst of caos. I call it walking the plank .....everyday, I breathe and walk out there in blind faith. The most ironic thing of all. I walk in blind faith everyday. Faith in what? My mind dosen't believe in anything anymore but my life experiences something profoundly more powerful than I am. So I am in the now of irony. I believe it's a good place a place where change is allowed.

Zachary is famous.

OK he's not famous but I wrote to the Senator of Mass. told him he could use Zach's story to help fight the electric skin shocking being done by the evil people to the kids like Zach. I got an email back saying thanks and we will keep you updated.

Then I got an email from a nice doctor wanting to use videos of Zachary at her lecture to show that kids like Zach are nice kids dealing with something hard. I said, go ahead and use the videos. Anyone who wants to stop the restraining and harsh behavior mod on these kids is a hero. So when it's all done she'll send me the part of her lecture with Zach in it. I'll share it here. I am kind of excited. If it helps a child or a mother trying to the school to be compassionate towards her child.
Well, it's just nice when you surrvive something and it winds up helping others.

Zachary is a champion. Most doctors told me he would never talk. Now he is trying to boss me around. He is so determind to find a blue race car. He wants to shop everyday. It's not happening but I love him for trying.

Finally my video is up on Long Awkward Pose! Please go vote for Fromage! The website LongAwkwardPose.com is the creation of Katie Dippold. She is a big jerk. ( Her words not mine)

Katie is a comedy writer (currently at MADtv) and performer (Boiling Points, Late Night with Conan O’Brien)

She encourages you to press viedo on your camera when your victims think you are taking a picture. It creates The Long Awkward Pose. I did it to Jose and he wanted to say fromage instead of cheese. OK he is French but still he wasn't about to sit still and smile for the camera.

vote for fromage

Ms. Thea with Zach
Originally uploaded by jippyjabber.

Zachary and Ms. Thea. She started out as a respite worker going to camp with Zachary so he still calls her Ms. Thea. I call her The Nanny.
Most of the time she's the daughter I never had. They laugh together.
She is going back to school to get certified to work with kids like Zach probably as a OT therapist. She is a certified massage therapist. Is Zach a lucky kid or what? So these are my kids.

I am worried about zach. I am waiting to see how many times he goes pee......( fun) I think he needs to be on IV but I can't go in too soon.....we've been on the verge of this for weeks. He's just so low on energy and now he won't eat or drink much.
I am trying to gently force him to drink. .........

i've got a winning ticket!

i've got a winning ticket!
Originally uploaded by jippyjabber.

Fuzzy photo but can you see?? I won $137.00
Two more numbers and it would have been 137 million!

calottery_jcbutton
Originally uploaded by jippyjabber.

What would you do with Triple Million dollars?

Ok that is for Super Lotto but you can go here to check out Mega Millions! Give it to me Yolanda!

My sister told me that if she won.....she would go Angelina Jolie and adopt a bunch of babies, hire some nannies put them in a house filled with puppies. She would stop by when ever she wanted. OMG I never laughed so hard.

I had three numbers and the bonus number. Two numbers off. It's fun just having a couple numbers right.
I think I will try betting on the horses next.

I am quite sure I would not have filled a house with babies and puppies. LOL I would fill a garage with corvettes and mustangs.

ZACHARY MOVED HIS TOES!



Yes, I meant to shout that out. Because of the complex regional pain syndrome his right leg is in pain and his right foot has foot drop. Foot drop means it just hangs down. He's been able to move his foot up and down a little for a while.

I thought I saw his big toe move the other day when I was putting lotion on his leg. I wasn't sure if he moved it or not. This morning which is still last night for us........ I was rubbing his foot and he moved his toes. HALLELUJAH.

So the medicine that makes everything worse but might help his leg........is helping his leg. He can't move his toes when I ask him to try. He'll grab his foot with his hand and try to move his foot. However, his nerves are healing. Nerves take a long long time to heal. I think it's a centimeter every three months or something painfully slow like that. His foot is really stiff. We miss swimming. I wish I had a hot tub. I better be careful and go easy. He'll have too much pain if I push and then his brain might start this whole process all over again.

It goes soemthign like this, the brain restricts blood flow to an injury at first (I guess so we don't bleed to death.) In complex regional pain syndrome the brain can stay in this mode. Now if you have a pain disorder this can complicate things. I am not giving medical advice. I am trying to point out how much of a miracle this is!! His toes moved!!!!!!

Jippy goes out!

I got in my car and I stopped myself from calculating how fast I could get everything done and get back. I left Zach with his usual nanny and one of her girlfriends. They each had their own pizza thanks to the Domino 3 for $5 each special. Then I left them with money for Target. Another good thing that came out of my talk with the nanny is that when she takes zach to Target, she buys water, juice, zach snacks and foods she likes to have around and things like trash bags. She also takes the trash out everyday when she leaves! This just needed to happen.

Zach collects cars so he spends lots of time looking at the toy section. He also likes to read the moive covers. It takes time so I like to send them to Target. Zachary made a power play and wanted 15 toys. I was told he was even fake crying! LOL This is actually excellent behavior for an autistic child. I can tell by the way the young ladies told me the story they enjoyed zachary's efforts at manipulating them and caved in at four race cars. He was really happy with what he got and I think he knew what he could get out of them. My little player.

Back to me, I get on the road I am looking for a good song on the radio and boom out of no where I am in tears. Crying about nothing. Just making room to breathe I guess. I had about twenty minutes to go and then my friend was going to drive the rest of the way. We have a saying in our family. Get your cry out, and I did. I didn't think too much about it and when I got to my friends house I was ready to go.

We saw traffic all around us but we were moving for some strange reason. We were so early we had time to go to California Pizza kitchen and have dinner. I had half a chicken ceasar salad. It was more than enough. We did some window shopping and hit up Starbicks. I still have my gift card from Christmas so it felt like a free coffee.

I was enjoying being able to stand up right and drink my coffe slowly. That's when I realizwed zach's wheel chair was in the back of my car in Burbank.. OMG! What kind of mother takes off whith her son's wheel chair? LOL I figured they would skip Target but they just went very very slow and he has pushes the cart like a walker. TROOPERS!

My friend and I pretended not to know each other during go speak to someone you don't know like you've been waiting for them at the airpor section. . After you get your cry out you are kind of vulnerable. I think my friend has trouble with crowds because she was really stiff and wasn't saying much. So I preetended not to know her and we got through it.

I had a nice night and I do feel like I am better today because of it.