I am desperate for this movie to be greater then the sum of these two filmmakers. It's the Transformers! I loved seeing Speilberg say, "Konichi-wa" It's good and funny......

Lets do it this year. Lets be more than the sum of all our parts. Lets put it out there. Write what you are meant to write. You know there is something in you trying to get out and it's bigger than you are. It's more than your ability as you know it. You'll have to stretch yourself to accomplish it. You'll have to let it take over. It's a collaboration of sorts.
You might have to learn something on the fly to keep up with it. You might, like I do, have to fight to give it room to breathe in your world. I just have to give it time and space. I just have to listen to it. I watch it in my mind. I need to watch it with more pleasure. I can ruin the joy of this. I can here nay sayers telling me to stop dreaming. Or that dreaming is just a coping mechanism for me. If I don't let them kill me then I chime in with my own frustratioins and doubts. There is a part of my mind that ruins the flow of creativity by constantly wanting the road map or the blue print. It's a fear of the unknown. I can deal with failure. Especially if I know it's coming. I can deal with success and with more joy and happiness when I know it's coming. The fear of the unknown just festers in the lonliest place I have with in me. It's so odd because I love to be alone. I need to be alone. But where the lonliness lives......I just can' t stand to be there. I'll give that part of my mind something. It's not really in my mind but I think there is a trap door in there somewhere. Once it's taken me, I know I'll be consumed with getting out. So in hopes of avoiding the trap door. I'll give that part of my mind an hour. One hour of structured consistency of doing what I said I would. What I think I should. I call this feediing the dragon. It won't be the thing that takes me where I need to go. But it just might keep me away from the trap door. Oh god I know there are other things beyond my control. And I'll just leave them there taunting my very survival. Here is the thing.... I could blame my son's problems and cop out. It would not be a lie but behind that world is my world. My challenges as a person trying to earn a living in a creative field. It's almost a luxury to know what my fucking problems are. I have had to Just let them do there interfereing sabotage. I will do the right thing in each moment with the Zach stuff. I trust myself with all of that. Because I do trust myself, I'll wait and see how this hour comes. Will I get it once a month? Once a week? Oh yeah wouldn't it be great to say my hour is once a day just at midnight or dawn? Yes, I want to say that. I want to do that. I just believe that I have an hour and I'll fight for it. I 'll keep track of it and when I see it I'll take it. And one by one, hour by hour, it just might add up to something bigger than who I am now. Transforming myself..............it's what inspiration does to a person.