Another right place at the right time.....

Before I got my Costco card, I used to stop in the Dollar store and
check out if they had any purified bottles of water. It's necessary for
Zachary. Not spring water but the pure stuff. I usually get some Crest,
Ajax, and Panteen while I am there too. I mean what the hell it's the
same stuff for a buck. It helps when I throw down close to a hundred
for a pair of shoes for a growing boy. This particular time they only
had the huge two and half gallon bottle with the sprocket. The fun kind
that goes in your fridge and your child can stand there and create a
mini pool on the floor for his artic seal and polar bear toys. I hate
carrying these things up a flight of stairs with my bag of all things
and corralling my son up and into our home. I Promised myself I would
not buy more than I can get up and into my place in one trip. It just
isn't worth it. It's a little better now but once Zach got home he'd be
ready to express his frustration from being out and about. So why
couldn't I just buy one thing of water? Yes, it's a nice price for
water but I hate these sprockets because zach finds them so much fun. I
must have done the equivalent of Arms of steel lifting the second thing
of water in and out of my cart. I left it and went to the toy section
and told Zach he could have any one he wanted. Those were the days. I
just like leaving there spending only five bucks. But no, I walked all
the way back to the water and got that one that I used for training.
One more heave hoe and I am back to my confusion, Why can't I stick to
my own rules? So I compromise with myself. I put one of the waters in
the seat next to me buckle it in and I'll get it out tomorrow. The
other one is in place for me to grab it as I get Zach and his stuff to
come with me inside. I wasn't going home yet. I still had to get
downtown Los Angeles and if I didn't get a move on it, I'd be stuck in
traffic on my way home. A new toy in for Zach was just the thing to
keep him occupied on while on the freeway. I made it downtown but Z
didn't want to get out of the car. I had to wait until he would
cooperate to get upstairs and meet with a regional center worker. What
a night mare just getting Zach into the building. Once again I am
feeling hopeless. The worker knows my future and with out knowing it
she told me it's going to be hard. I just don't want to be helpless and
a burden. I always felt a sense of destiny to help. I just had so much
compassion and empathy. I just didn't want to be the needy one. So I am
building up my grudge towards god and I am stuck on the freeway. It's
not moving. It's crawling at the slowest pace I have ever seen after
years of being on this freeway. I think I see something up ahead as I
move over to get off I wonder if this problem up a head is blocking my
exit and then I will be here for hours. It's a gamble but with Zach I
have to get off the road before he reaches his limit. Yes, he' s in a
car seat but he has gotten out leaving his diaper down around his
ankles. He is a little Houdini. He is also a little Tasmanian Devil. I
am finding it hard to breathe as visions of our last freeway incident
plays in my mind. I was driving back from Orange County and Zach got
out of his car seat and over the into the front seat in an instant. He
was in so much pain and uncontrollable that he was thrashing about hit
his head on the windshield and broke it. I was in a construction zone
and was sure I was going to die. So I needed to get to the exit.
I have realized I had no control and I just surrendered to the moment. I could see the
guy on the side of the road. His car was on the island between my lane
and an on ramp. Cars still emptying on to this freeway and not getting
too far. It was slowing down and things stoped cars stuck on the on
ramp. This guy was standing there holding the radiator cap and the
steam piping out of his car. I reach over opened the passener side door. He looks at me,
looks inside my car, I unbuckle the water, he reaches in takes the
suitcase of water and shuts my door just as I slowly creep bye totally
in syn with the pace of traffic. I just couldn't believe it! Neither of us
ever said one word!
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