My New Earth work is actually on It's a text messaging book club. In case you came here from the Oprah website and were wondering where it all is. I'll bring my New Earth Work over here because, I guess this is where it's meant to be. Welcome to Jippyjabber! PS I am auntjippy on the Oprah message boards.

Thursday, November 09, 2006

I was there for you baby! A few stories where I was an angel. I was a part of synchronizity. I was there in the right place at the right time with the right stuff. I am the single mother of special needs child. I have been humbled. There came a point where I just could not take anymore. I literally was tired of asking for help and I had a hard time saying thank you because I wanted to say, we'd be fine now. I won't need anything anymore. I sometimes said nothing more than thanks. Dipping into my parents or worse yet my sister's saving account and knowing I'd be back. The look in their eyes or the sound of their voice that said, I know you will be back too. I just found it so excruciating to be so helpless. I was getting fired and quitting jobs. I to go immediately to my son, and that call was coming more and more frequently. I was an inadequate person in an extended crisis situation. Needing help was getting old and I wondered how long could I be such a burden on my friends and family? I was so grateful and scared because I couldn't see light at the end of the tunnel. In hindsight it was too far off for me to see. I knew there was some help from the other side. I was having a hard time praying because of the disgusting, horrible, terrifying pain, torturing my son. I could not be in the presence of this trauma and speak to god. I think I was holding up and invisible to the human eye flashing fuck off sign. What I mean is that I felt as if I was keeping a force out. One that was willing to sit with me during Zach's torment. I was saying if you aren't with him then you can't be with me either. Although somehow the force was with us. We were still making it and the numbers didn't add up. So I said to whatever that was that was sustaining us. I can't take anymore. I just don't know how long I can be this humble. So what happened next is that my sister gave me her old computer. I put my dinosaur computer outside my door. Not looking forward to lugging it down a flight of stairs while trying to keep track of Z. Then I get a call for my sister in Florida saying, you've got package coming from UPS don't leave yet. OK, So I sit down and contemplate the irony of this powerful force. It just doesn't matter what I say. I don't know why but I lightened up a little anyway. Then a knock on the door. The UPS guy, gorgeous and happy. I sign for my package which I am getting really excited about. Then just as gorgeous UPS guy is about to leave he stalls. Is this your computer? Yes. Are you getting rid of it? Yes. Does it work? Yes. I have the exact same computer that just broke down. Do you mind if I come back after my sift and pick this up. It's my pleasure, I was not looking forward to carrying it down the steps. It was awesome! I quickly shut the door before he saw me blissfully laughing and crying. I was the helper! I was the one with something to give. Of course I received a lot to be able to do it but maybe that is just how it goes.

The next story is a dance of synchronization and I am not sure but even telekinesis. You'll have to come back tomorrow for the story. I have to get dinner for Zach and I have to dye my hair tonight.

1 comment:

LoLo said...

I love this! Just love that that happened for you and love how you wrote about it... carefull, you're talent is showing:)